derek

Remember when I said I loved my class? I must have said it at least two or three times here. Today they reminded me why. I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves.

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Above: another picture from the other day. This picture isn’t related to anything I’m going to write at all, but I like it.

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I have a lot of potential students who ask me for English lessons. I have to turn a lot of people away, telling them I’m too busy to take new students. Why are so many people interested in improving their English?

Well, the average English education in school here is terrible. Sometimes hilariously terrible.

Two of my favorite students told me about a phrase their English teacher (a Russian, of course) taught them before. “Top bananas — a very important phrase in America.” Supposedly, “top bananas” is a very important person — the boss of a company, somebody really successful.

Top bananas!

Above: from left to right, Kristina, Yulia and Artyom. Drinking in an old communal flat.

KRISTINA

A young mother and student. Is passionate about journalism. Does lots of freelance newspaper writing and makes her own video documentaries for practice. Wants to be a documentarian in the future.

I asked to see one of her documentaries. She’s far too shy to show one off. She said she’d sooner show me her breasts than her documentaries.

ARTYOM

A drag queen from Moscow. Probably one of the country’s most successful drag queens. Most drag queens only lip sync their songs (who knew?), but Artyom has an amazing voice. His singing ability has gotten him gigs providing entertainment for Russia’s most lavish corporate events — including Gazrom, the biggest corporation in the country (Russian corporations have drag queens at their corporate events — who knew?).

His drag queen name is “Sindel.” The name came from — wait for it — a character in the Mortal Kombat video game series.

Above: looking through the food-giving window of a prison cell.

Today I visited the Peter and Paul Fortress — the first part of the city Peter built a bit over 300 years ago. The fortress was built to defend the city against invading Swedes. Of course, the fortress included a prison.

In the time of the tsar, imperial Russia used the prison especially for political prisoners. In the late 1800’s and early 1900’s, tons of notorious revolutionaries served sentences there, including Gorky, Trotsky, and Lenin’s brother. After the revolution, the prison was filled with tons of random people thought to be sympathetic to the old political order. Today it’s only a museum.

This may be a good time to share a story one of my student’s told me.

Like me, my student has long wanted to be a lawyer. She’s spent several months considering her options. She’s idealistic and motivated by dreams of helping the underdogs of Russia. Recently, something changed her mind.

My student met a recently retired defense lawyer. Many apartment buildings in St. Petersburg (in Russia everyone lives in an apartment — there are almost no single-family American-style homes) are owned either by construction companies or the government. In either case, if a building goes under construction, the owner is required to provide temporary apartments of a relatively equal quality to the residents. So, some woman lived in the center of St. Petersburg in a really luxurious apartment. Her building went under construction and the company moved her to a tiny, falling-apart apartment far in the outskirts. She decided to sue. Her lawyer (“advokat” in Russian) was the one my student met recently.

Popular opinion was against the construction company and it was clear they were going to lose. So, they offered the lawyer a $20,000 bribe to close the case. He refused. So — they tried to murder his family. He’s since retired from practicing law.

My student is starting now having second thoughts.

Above: blue sky, strange strees.

What can I say? Sorry for not writing. I just haven’t really felt like things are so interesting anymore. After all, I’m following a routine now. Every day I check my schedule to see what teaching appointments I have lined up. I know Friday evening is Intermediate Business English. Saturday morning is Pre-Intermediate General English. When I wake up and walk down Nevsky Prospekt, it’s no longer the main avenue of an exotic foreign capital — it’s my commute to work. Commute. The word fills me with dread.

Above: some cheap student housing near the metro station Park Poebedy.

I’ve still been having a lot of fun, as always, and I’m still thrilled to be here — it’s just that the newness of it has worn off. Some things are getting really normal. Near my home, there’s a shaverma place. Shaverma is a really cheap kind of meat, similar to a kebab, that’s popular here as a quasi-fast food. Shaverma restaurants are run by poor immigrants from Tajikistan, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, and Kazakhstan. It’s the Russian equivalent of Mexican food in the United States. So, I go to this shaverma place at least once a week. They remember my usual order and I never have to ask for it. How much more routine can you get?

Been partying lately. I found some people to play pool with. Last night I schooled my British buddy, Luke. Last weekend went out with some people from the conversation club to my favorite pool hall here. Also went to another free concert. Some Russian indie rock bands that basically ripped off similar Western groups. Was nice anyways.

Above: mangy cat that crawled out of a hole in the wall and started eating trash.

Above: Hare Krishnas!

The other day I saw a huge group of Hare Krishnas dancing down Nevsky. Back in Chapel Hill, it was regular to see a few of these guys dancing downtown… but I’ve never seen such a large gathering. So, Hare Krishnas are in Russia. Who knew?

Above: outside metro station Park Poebedy.

I wanted to make a brief note about the effects of the financial crisis here. The situation is really getting worse every day. Everybody I meet who doesn’t have a job has resigned themselves to thinking that getting one is basically impossible. Everyone who has a job is worried that they’re going to lose it. Out of every ten people I meet, one has lost a job recently. About four have had their salaries decreased. Is it this bad in the United States? It’s hard to get an accurate sense from reading the newspapers (as I do every day).

Above: one of my students took this photo on her cell phone during class. As you can see, my students are completely engaged with the work.

To make another tangent — it’s such a strange feeling to be a teacher. Here I am, sitting (or standing) in front of a class and saying things with an authoritative voice, hoping to sound, well, authoritative. It’s absurd! Like Socrates said, “I know that I don’t know shit” (paraphrased). It’s true! It feels obscene having students take notes as I speak, as if anything that comes out of my mouth is worth remembering. How do real teachers (not me) handle it? Have they no shame?

Despite that, I am still loving this class! Every day they bring me chocolate. How nice is that? The student who took the photo above is also a classical singer, and she’s giving me free tickets to her concert for this weekend. Teaching definitely has it’s benefits.

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That’s all for now. I promise something more interesting to come, uh, soon.

Above: sunlight!

I don’t have any major news, so I thought I’d instead just enumerate a few noteworthy things I’ve seen or done lately. So, in no particular order…

SUNLIGHT

It’s March and spring has finally come! A marked shift has really appeared in the sky. Ever since I got to Russia, almost five months ago (!), the sky has been a constant, oppressive gray, hanging over the country like a [uh oh, think of metaphor] an iron curtain [nice one!!]. Now, sunlight actually shines! It’s strange how noticeable it is. You don’t realize how much you miss the sun until you, well, leave North Carolina and go to Russia.

SEEN IN RUSSIA

Man walks past public trash bin. Man glances at trash bin and continues walking. Man does double-take and sees empty (near-empty?) beer bottle in trash. Man walks up to trash, takes out beer bottle, excitedly turns it upside down to suck out potential last drop. Man disappointedly throws empty bottle back in trash bin having not gotten a drop.

Actually, I’ve seen that many times but never mentioned it before. Drinking beer out of public trash bins: normal in Russia.

SEEN OUTSIDE METRO STATION

Walked outside Canal Griboedeva metro station the other day. Two medics were really calmly standing over a squatting homeless person, conversing. Homeless man seemed completely lucid, calm. His clothes were drenched in blood and beneath him there was a pool of blood that had spread at least several feet away.

Maybe it wasn’t his?

LISTEN CAREFULLY

In class today, I told my students to look at “exercise six.” A couple of them started giggling uncontrollably. One of them fessed up that when I say “six” it sounds like “sex.” They asked me to help clarify how to pronounce “six” versus “sex.” I did. That prompted another student to ask about “beach” versus “bitch.” I clarified the pronounciation for those also.

Everybody who knows me knows that I am really obnoxiously loud. I wonder what would have happened if my boss walked by and heard me shouting, “Sex! Listen carefully, bitch!”

LOVE YOU GUYS

On a related note, I should say — I love my class at Orange! Seriously, I have the best students. Everyone is so fun, attentive, cooperative, entertaining, and appreciative. They bring me chocolate every day! I actually leave the class in a better mood than I had coming in.

Last week, I had to substitite for another foreign (non-Russian) teacher’s class. He was in Finland, renewing his Russian visa. It made me appreciate my students even more. Those guys were so quiet, boring, not engaged with the work — it was a torturous three-and-a-half hours. I didn’t know how many times I would have to teach that class, so I thought it would be a good idea to start the class with personal introductions — let everyone meet me; let me meet them.

One girl actually stared at me sternly and said, “I am accountant. That is all.”

Yeah, I hate you too.

BUSY, BUSY, BUSY

I am getting too busy. I am teaching a ton of private students. I just learned today that Orange is giving me another class — intermediate-level business English. Twice a week, three-and-a-half hours each class. Not sure how to handle all of this.

Busy, busy, busy…